People
They Should Send to Guantanamo Bay
A
thrilling Expose by Award Winning Writer, Chris Quinn
The United States of America is currently holding 300 suspected
terrorists in Camp Delta at USA Naval base in Guantanamo Bay.
These criminals are being monitored by JTF 160, 850 soldiers in
charge of their “security”. JTT 170 is in charge of
interrogating these people. There has been mounting anger over
this camp due to unjust imprisonment and mistreatment of prisoners.
Now I understand putting terrorists away for good, but there are
a few people I feel the United States are overlooking, some key
people that are bringing terror to North America. Here are a few
people I think deserve to be on the first boat to Cuba.
Clay Aiken: Every
time this guy’s music video comes on TV, the USA goes into
Orange Alert. Has anyone listened to his song “Invisible”?
It’s about voyeurism. It is about how he wishes he could
watch you in your room when you don’t know he’s there.
That’s creepy alone and that’s before you see his
eyebrows.
J.K. Rowling: Having
children read is a very important part of educating the young,
but when 250 million books are sold in 200 countries and 60 languages
and the author is making $211 million dollars a year you begin
to be suspicious. Has she made a deal with the devil to pry kids
away from TV? Books would be one thing but cheesy products, dolls,
spin off books, movies all followed. Bookstores are beginning
to look like flea markets for useless junk. Harry Potter must
be stopped before it consumes a whole generation of readers…
oh wait, it has.
Movie Critics: What
gives these arrogant punks the right to judge successful movie
makers and actors? The most famous critic, Roger Ebert, directed
a horror/ soft-core porn movie in the seventies yet he is the
first to shoot down a great film. His old partner, Gene Siskel,
called the sequel to Babe (Babe, pig in the city) as the best
film of the year. All these guys do is sit around, watch movies
and write two articles a week. They have accomplished nothing
in their film careers and resort to bitter comments about more
successful men’s work. This goes for students in school
who think they know more about movies than you. What have they
done that makes them more enlightened than you? Hopefully the
next time we see two thumbs up, it’ll be from behind the
fences of Camp Delta.
Good Charlotte:
Ha ha ha, these guys make fun of the rich and the famous. They’re
so original. Hey, wait a second, did they just rhyme famous with
famous? Oh wait, aren’t they rich and famous? Maybe we should
ROB them, of their amps so we won’t have to listen to their
crappy music anymore.
Ben Affleck: A man
wins an Oscar and he thinks that allows him to make crappy movies
for the rest of his career. You know you have a sad career when
your appearance at a baseball game is making more news than all
of your movies combined. It isn’t just Gigli either. Does
anyone remember that movie he made with Gwyneth Paltrow, about
airplane seating plans or something? Didn’t think so. Maybe
you should talk to your pal Matt Damon and try to star in a decent
movie.
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New
Year's Resolutions
By
Erica Rodd
This is the time of year for our resolve to shine through; when
we commit to becoming the people we want to be; when we decide
to cut back on junk food and increase exercise and our intake
of vitamin C.
It’s also the time of year when exercised self-control is
frowned upon; when we receive pounds of chocolate for free, and
when we’re just too lazy to get up and go to a gym after
stuffing ourselves with turkey and mashed potatoes. How are we
supposed to become the people we want to be when the people we
are can’t even button up our jeans?
So I have a preposition to make: let’s stop making resolutions
at the time of the year when it’s hardest to keep them.
There’s just too much good stuff to eat and too many excuses
not to do things during the holidays. It’s hard. I know
because every year I fall victim to the resolution bug.
Maybe it’s all those advertisements for products that promise
to help me in my quest for perfection. They surround me every
time I step outside. What about the ad with the woman who has
had the same New Year’s resolution for seven years? That
sounds enough like me.
Maybe it’s the fact that everybody else has resolutions,
so I feel I should have one too. Or I really do want to change
something about myself, and the pressure is on at New Year’s
to make a resolution.
Maybe I just want to have an answer so that when people ask the
question; “So, What’s your New Year’s resolution?”
I can say, “Oh, I’m gonna cut back on junk food,”
or “I’m going to do all my homework every night.”
There are three resolutions that I make every year and that I
never keep. They are to eat less chocolate, exercise more often,
and write in a journal more than once a month.
I dug up my resolutions from last year, because I actually wrote
them down, so that I could laugh at them. Last year, I didn’t
just make a list of what I wouldn’t eat or what I wouldn’t
do; I tried to put a positive spin on it by writing down a plan
for each resolution. For example, instead of just saying that
I wouldn’t watch Oprah every day after school, I wrote,
in detail, exactly how I would use that hour in a better way.
I would do my homework right after school. I would get a membership
to the Y. I would go at least three times a week, plus weekends.
By next year, I would have rock-hard abs.
But looking back on the past twelve months, I see that even that
plan didn’t work. I wonder how many hours of sleep I lost
while I was madly finishing a project or some assignment. I still
watch Oprah quite a bit, I’m not a Y member, and my abs
are definitely not rock hard.
Nothing can beat curling up with an MSG-filled, sugary, so–bad–for–you–it–should–be–banned–in–large–quantities
junk food item, flicking on the T.V., and having Oprah announce
one of your favourite celebrities on her show, especially when
you’re not supposed to be doing it.
Every year I laugh at myself. By now, I am supposed to be a well-rounded
individual who eats fruit when she wants chocolate and writes
in her journal three times a week, not to mention all the trips
to the gym I was supposed to take.
And I’m not the only one who has these problems of keeping
New Year’s resolutions. Elijah Wood and my friend both have
the same resolution every year to stop biting their fingernails,
a resolution that they never keep.
Wouldn’t we all be happier if we just accepted ourselves
the way we were? Then we wouldn’t have to go through this
whole charade of pretending that we’re actually going to
keep our resolutions when we know that we’ll just be resolving
to ‘fix’ the same thing next year. I think we should
celebrate the things that we resolve to stop doing; the things
that make us human. What about a national fingernail-biting day?
And that means that I can eat all the chocolate I want.
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The
Cost of Grad Year
By
Inês Ribeiro
As students, we all know how expensive it is to attend university
here in Canada. What we don’t realize is how expensive it’s
becoming to graduate. From grad photos, rings, and trips to prom
preparations, money spent on enjoying and remembering the last
year of high school is adding up. The mounting costs beg the question:
how much of it is really necessary?
Getting a post-secondary education is enough to cause debt with
hefty fees for books, residence, and even applications stacked
on top of rising tuition fees. Despite protests, the high cost
of going to university has become an accepted reality.
Should it be inevitable that the grad year be so expensive? In
many schools it is considered “a must” to have a grad
ring and to go on the grad trip. These two examples alone cost
hundreds of dollars each.
At Oakwood, students seem to be a bit more aware of the price
they have to pay to enjoy their last year of high school and many
students don’t understand the fuss surrounding the events
in their final year. Quite a few students do not even see the
point of going to prom, considering it to be just another party.
Many think grad rings are a waste of money and some scoff at the
idea of having to pay a $23 sitting fee for grad photos, on top
of which they will have to pay over a hundred dollars for the
actual photos.
Prom itself requires quite a sum of money. The actual tickets
cost about $80, which is cheaper at Oakwood than at most schools
because of the Grad Council’s fundraising efforts. Based
on the way teen movies and the media portray prom, it would seem
that girls in particular need to spend a few hundred dollars on
their attire, spending about $200 on a dress, and a few hundred
more on accessories. Add this to the cost of grad photos, a grad
trip and a class ring and you get a grand total of over $1000,
probably enough money for a plane ticket to Europe.
In relation to money spent on university, this amount seems trivial.
It’s only one fifth of the amount spent on tuition fees
for one year. A high school education is supposed to be free,
however, and it is important to realize that it still is. All
of the expenses relating to grad year that were mentioned are
optional. This is an important factor to take into account when
considering what to buy.
It makes sense that the marketing campaigns the companies selling
these products would try to make us believe that their products
are essential for remembering our high school years, but perhaps
their claim is a bit of an exaggeration. Buying mementos can be
a good way of remembering these years, but it’s not the
only way. Looking through old yearbooks with friends, reminiscing
and laughing is probably a less expensive and more enjoyable way
to look back. High school can be a great experience where we learn
skills to help us in the future, make lasting friendships, and
learn about ourselves in the process. Getting a class ring isn’t
exactly going to show how you’ve grown or even what you’ve
learned. The proof is all in the person you’ve become.
In the end, you decide how to spend your money. My advice is to
look closely at your reasons for buying grad paraphernalia. That
way you won’t end up spending a fortune on useless items
that others deem necessary.
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Heading
For High-School
By
Graeme Northcote
Beginning the first year of high-school is a big step for most
people. It represents the point at which one stops learning for
learning’s sake, and starts working towards something more.
It is the point where one must finally look forward into the not-so-distant
future. It is the time to make your own choices that will affect
the rest of your life. It is these four years that will determine
what you can and cannot achieve in your future. It is these friends
that stick by you always.
Or so I’m told.
Nevertheless, these sappy, yet noble speeches spoken countless
times by countless teachers, principals, and parents worldwide
do contain a sliver of truth.
Although I respect the fact that I will tread important paths
in my years at high-school, I did not begin grade 9, as so many
teachers would have us believe, a nervous wreck.
Grade 9 can be particularly nerve-wracking, for many students,
but why is that? I doubt very much that the work or the classroom
atmosphere has gotten to them. In fact, I found the amount of
work as well as the atmosphere in the class to be surprisingly
similar to junior high. There are still kids who slack off and
kids who openly insult the teachers. No, I believe the pre-high-school
stress, as I call it, is the factor that gets under the skin of
so many students.
Pre-high-school stress is simply the huge amount of pressure that
seems to be dumped on junior-high students. Their teachers, principals,
and even their parents badger them about making life decisions
in high-school. I know my brain was filled with bull about how
failing high-school means failing in life. I’m not saying
that high-school isn’t important, but it would do parents
and teachers some good to remember that it isn’t the end
of the world.
Children need to be inspired to do well, not terrorized into it
by empty threats of life on the streets as a consequence of failure.
I’ve already talked to a handful of people who, smart as
they are, failed grade 9 courses because of stress-related issues.
So I say: don’t worry.
Sure high-school is important for your future career in life,
but it should also be a time to develop socially as a person.
Kids should concentrate less on marks and more on pushing themselves
out into the world by making new friends, playing new sports,
and joining new clubs.
Enjoying and exploring new experiences, in and outside of the
school, is what high-school is really about.
Or at least, that’s my opinion.
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